Gearing up for this Sunday’s, May 19th, Open House Conspiracy event with Jus-Ed, Doreen, DSUM, and myself at The Factory, I wanted to share a bit about the complicated and improbable history the parties and I share with Ed over the last three times we’ve hosted him. For some reason, it has always seemed to be under difficult circumstances and through no fault of his, but rather disease, epidemics, and loss. I can’t help but think, if it was any other artist besides Ed, considering who he is as a down-to-earth, caring, and wise human being, that much of what we’ve been through would have been a nightmare or outright not possible.
The first time we booked Jus-Ed was in November of 2018 when Michael Zucker (RIP) connected us for a 10 year celebration of his Finale Sessions label in St. Pete. Mike wound up in the hospital due to complications from his colon cancer in the days leading up to the party just before Ed flew in, which was earlier than usual in order to spend some time with Mike. Thankfully, Mike wound up being able to get out in time to play his set and I’m so glad to have shared this special memory together before he passed. The situation would also lead to Ed and I becoming as thick as thieves. We had to pivot travel and accommodation plans given the circumstances. It was determined I’d pick up Ed from the airport in Orlando, which worked out well because I was already planning on traveling through Central Florida to spend Thanksgiving on the East Coast with family. As Ed got in the car, I told him where we were going and he seemed confused, which was compounded by him not knowing Florida all that well. After some back and forth, I realized Mike hadn’t told him what was going on. I don’t know why, whether it was too much to deal with, that he had hoped to be out in time, a desire to not disappoint, or an unwarranted guilt about the situation — Mike was always characteristically determined and strong like that. Ed wound up staying and spending Thanksgiving with my family and I. One thing about Ed, in addition to spinning beautiful music, is that he just wants to fish, so getting the opportunity to do so on the coast really wasn’t a problem at all in the end. On top of all that, add into the equation that Boomerang, aka Michael McNamara, and I went straight into the event after coming back from Miami and pulling an all nighter to play the Electric Pickle’s patio… needless to say I was a mess, but the music washed everything away.
The second time we hosted Ed for his return was in March of 2020 as everyone was realizing the coronavirus to be a serious threat and only a few days before the entire world would shut down — go figure. We did our best to provide a safe, open air event that would be a sort of last hurrah of over two years for many, but the early social distancing and hygiene guidance we implemented, as well as some choosing to simply sit it out entirely, meant the event was certainly impacted. There was a general awkwardness in the air, but it would also serve as a much needed send off before everything that was to come. As usual, Ed got his fishing in, so I’m not sure he minded the world slowing down at that exact moment, which was a stark contrast to my anxiety.
The last time we brought Ed to St. Pete was for our first event back from the pandemic in March of 2022 in a full circle moment. While this could have been a no fuss event, I noticed an interesting timeline surrounding certain events when I was looking for mixes to promote the party that I couldn’t ignore as some kind of message that there was a greater purpose we were being called on to channel. During the first year of lockdown, on November 7th, Jus-Ed had participated in a stream for Beatport’s ReConnect x When the Music Stops: #YouAreNotAlone in support of mental health. In addition to DJ sets, the event featured educational segments about mental health and wellness led by experts in the field who tackled a range of topics such as depression, sleeping habits, productivity during the pandemic, creativity and more challenges facing the electronic music community and the world more broadly. Ed himself also shared some poignant messages throughout his set, stating in the introduction, “I’m grateful for Farah (Syed) and Beatport for including me in this series dealing with depression and people taking their own lives and COVID-19.” He’d go on to add, “No need to be depressed because you’re not alone. This is all of us. We’re all in this, together. This is not your fault, this is not my fault… yeah, I mean to take your life, to think your life is not worth living, that’s like some mad — that’s, you can’t do it, you just can’t do it. We weren’t build to self destruct like that. I know it’s a lot of people, you know, indulging and, you know, a day at a time, man. It’s better to face this shit clear headed, clear minded. You need to have all your faculties, you need to be healthy… we need to focus, man, we need to focus because this is not going to last forever.” Later expanding on this and relating to the listeners, “I wish I could see some of your faces while I’m doing this, makes it a lot easier… music soothes the soul, takes away the aggression, gives me hope. You’re in my home now and just like you I suffered major setbacks, relationship loss, separation, financial… and you can’t — I’m not giving up, I’m not giving up, you know, I’ll continue. I hope that this video reaches you good folks out there and I hope it touches at least one person that was feeling down and out.”
This discovery and its timing was tragic. A huge supporter of music and art, our dear friend Nick Moses succumbed to the pressures of the isolation caused by those trying times only a day before the broadcast. Nick had always been there, front and center, when we hosted Ed, including on the previous occasion, bringing his mom and step dad. He had even tried to help us find a location for that event. Listening to the broadcast, it made me wonder, “What if?” What if Nick had held on another day, tuned in, and heard Ed speaking to his situation. Would it have helped him to choose differently? Given Ed had already touched on this subject, and having formed such a close relationship, I knew it wouldn’t be out of the question to ask him if we could dedicate the event to Self Harm Awareness Month in honor of Nick Moses’ life. It was my first chance to fully gather the community in public and pay tribute to Nick. I reached out to Nick’s mom, Tricia Moses, and she was on board with a big goal of hers being to help prevent other children and parents from going through the same ordeal. As a studio artist at The Factory, the location was fitting too. She set up an easel with warning signs at the event and, while it’s not something overly conducive to a dance party and is certainly uncomfortable for unassuming partygoers — a risk we’ve never shied away from — we stopped the music to have Ed address the crowd, all of which, including his set, was recorded. I still get emotional and overcome with tears when I listen back.
“Not to be a downer or anything but, you know, this is some real shit, depression and, you know, all of these hidden secrets that we keep. And I encourage you, if you’re using alcohol or drugs to evade dealing with those personal issues, stop it, because, you know, when you get plucked out of the life circle, there’s a big hole that’s left as well. And it’s pretty much done for you, otherwise than your spirit, so contribute to the growth and the progress of humanity, your family, your friends. And, those that say they are friends, you really need to extend yourself more, get out of your comfort zone and if you see somebody struggling, ask them if you can help.” This was followed by Nick’s mom speaking on the subject, “So, he’s already said a lot of what I feel, but I want to say thank you for coming out to The Factory, I’m glad you’re experiencing a new place here in St. Petersburg and I’m honored that Austen did this in memory of Nick because it coincided with two years ago — and I was there.” Breaking up with emotion, but fighting through it, she continues, “I just want to say it’s not just about Nick. Nick is gone. I want it to be for the next person to not be gone, so look at the warning signs, understand. I could not, if I look at those warning signs, I would not put a check by all of them, by any means, only by a couple, so understand that, pay attention to that. If there’s only one or two of those signs, check in. And it’s okay to ask, ‘Are you hurting, are you thinking of hurting yourself?’ Do it. Do it because that moment can save a person’s life. You know, I go to a therapist, it’s very common in grief, ‘I should’ve, could’ve, would’ve,’ but how about, ‘I did.’ I’m living with: I should’ve, could’ve, would’ve. I want the next person to live with: I did. And it’s gonna save that person. Nick is gone, he lives in our hearts. I want to save the next person, by this message, so, all of you, spread that and understand when you see erratic behavior, pay attention. Pay attention.”
Ed would go on to open his set by dedicating a fitting song, Sounds of Blackness’ “Testify,” and specifically the classic house remix of it, “Optimistic (12″ Never Say Die Mix),” to the moment. We also left the floral arrangement from the party in front of Tricia Moses’ studio after the night was over. I don’t have a single regret as, again, Ed was the “right” artist to ride out all of these challenging circumstances, but this Sunday should be the first time we’re hosting him without some crazy shit happening — fingers crossed. So please join us finally for the kind of joyous, free of worries celebration Jus-Ed deserves. It’s Open House Conspiracy’s second to last event of the year before going on a hiatus and I couldn’t think of a better guest to send us off. After all we’ve been through, it certainly feels good to give this man his flowers too.
Sharing the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention as a resource.
Are you in a crisis?
Please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.
Or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.
